If you have been on an airplane, you have heard it before- "in case of an emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the overhead compartments." and "place the oxygen mask on yourself first before assisting others". Now why would you put your mask on first? Is that not selfish?
No it is not. It's the smart thing to do. You cannot help others if you're slowly dying/incapacitated yourself. You both might end up worse off.
This is in real life too. Sometimes you need to help yourself first before you can help others. When it comes to happiness, you should make sure you are happy before you focus on someone else's happiness.
Here is another scenario for you to think about in regards to guarding your happiness: picture you and a friend in the middle of the ocean with no raft, boat, life jacket- nothing. Now if you use the same amount of energy to keep one another afloat, maybe you can survive. However, what if you used all your energy to keep your friend afloat and did not receive the same assistance back? What happens then? They're floating while you sink. If you sink, though, eventually so will they so your efforts are for naught.
Now before you say that none your friends would ever be like that, think. We've all been in relationships where the other person was not giving back as much they received. Those one sided relationships can truly take a toll on you. Don't forget to take care of yourself. Sometimes you're the only person who will.
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