Your Oxygen Mask

 If you have been on an airplane, you have heard it before- "in case of an emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the overhead compartments." and "place the oxygen mask on yourself first before assisting others". Now why would you put your mask on first? Is that not selfish?

No it is not. It's the smart thing to do. You cannot help others if you're slowly dying/incapacitated yourself. You both might end up worse off.

This is in real life too. Sometimes you need to help yourself first before you can help others. When it comes to happiness, you should make sure you are happy before you focus on someone else's happiness.

Here is another scenario for you to think about in regards to guarding your happiness: picture you and a friend in the middle of the ocean with no raft, boat, life jacket- nothing. Now if you use the same amount of energy to keep one another afloat, maybe you can survive. However, what if you used all your energy to keep your friend afloat and did not receive the same assistance back? What happens then? They're floating while you sink. If you sink, though, eventually so will they so your efforts are for naught.

Now before you say that none your friends would ever be like that, think. We've all been in relationships where the other person was not giving back as much they received. Those one sided relationships can truly take a toll on you. Don't forget to take care of yourself. Sometimes you're the only person who will.

Butterfly

Happiness is like a pair of wings,

they can lift you up

help you soar

bring you to new heights

you never imagined before

But you must earn them

go through a metamorphosis

become a new

and once you have them

sail into the yonder blue

Let your happiness give your flight

H.A.P.P.Y

• H- Hope. Keep hope alive within yourself. Even when everything else tells you otherwise, never let go of hope.
• A- Apply yourself to what you want. You can do it. You have the strength and ability.
• P- Prepare for disappointments, because you cannot avoid them when you are willing to take risks. But without them, you cannot learn and grow.
• P- Peace. Find your peace, know how to access it when you need to.
• Y- Youth. Being young at heart does not mean you remain a child, but you keep the essence and innocence of your childhood- the way you looked at the world, was ready and willing to learn, open for possibilities.

What is your HAPPY?

Happiness- Destination vs. Journey

"I'll be happy once...."

How many times have we heard someone say this or something similar? How many times have we said it ourselves? We'll be happy once.... what? Once we have more money? Have more time? Have a family? Have a partner? Have a child? Have retired?

Happiness should not be a destination. Happiness should be continuous. We should be able to say "I'm happy now, and I want ___________ to help enrich my life." Or at least something to that effect.

It's okay to be happy even when your life is not what you want it to be. Being happy doesn't mean that you no longer need or desire anything more. It just means you're happy. So, it's okay to be happy and want more. You do not have to put aside your happiness until you are where you want to be in your life. Be happy now.

Facebook Life Vs. Real Life

There is so much to say about the phenomenon of Facebook and it's impact of our society's self-image and esteem. Serious studies have been done on this subject with not so surprising results. Just google Facebook and depression. Facebook and narcissism. Facebook and self-esteem. Go ahead and read what has been concluded.

Facebook is the virtual image of the old saying: the grass is always greener on the other side. Now the grass happens to be status updates, links, pictures, shout-outs and other viral connections that flood our Facebook wall. The crazy thing is that we only see the positive of our friends' lives. So that's mostly what we have to compare to our own lives.

Wedding pictures. Baby smiles. Anniversary messages. Congratulations. Graduation announcements. Traveling photo albums. Excited Status updates. Our walls are filled with how well everyone else's lives are going as we sit in front of the computer/phone screen wondering why all these amazing things are happening to those around us, but we're still stuck in our dreary world. Yes, we have good moments and occasions, but there are always the mundane moments or struggles that we remember as well.

The crux of it all is that people do not post the mundane or the struggles (unless they are extremely emotional about it). We are only shown the smiles and the triumph. In other words, we are never given the full picture. We see our own ups and downs, but hardly our Facebook friends'. To compare the two, we will always find fault in our own real lives.

So don't. Remind yourself when you feel that sliver of envy or jealousy creeping in as you note all the great things happening to "everyone else," that you do not know their whole story. Who knows, someone might be looking at your Facebook life and believe that you have the perfect life.

Do not confuse Facebook Life with Real life.

Guard Your Happiness- from others' judgment

Last night, I went out to dinner with a friend and her family. I’ve known them for years and they’re good people.

However, last night turned a bit awkward for me. My friend and her father are very much alike in how they speak and state their opinion. “Greyhounds are ugly.” “She is stupid.” “Anyone who doesn’t like hot sauce are wimps.”

First off, I don’t have any problem with people stating their opinion. We all have one and should not be afraid to share it. After all, freedom of speech and all that jazz. However, sometimes their blanket statements- as if their opinion is the right one and anyone who disagrees is a moron- rubs me the wrong way. To me there are better ways to phrase things, but maybe I’m too sensitive about that. Anyway, last night, I was on the end of the father’s disapproval.

It all started when I was ordering my usual- water with no ice. As soon as I said no ice, my friend’s father’s eyebrows sprung up and a look of befuddlement washed over him. “No ice? Are you allergic to ice?” There it was. The condescending tone. I was offended mostly by the tone and the rude face he was making, but I just smiled and tried to explain that the chill from the ice hurts my teeth which are really sensitive. However, I had been marked as the one to jab about my preference of my water with no ice. There was good nature ribbing from everyone at the table about it, except for my friend who was too busy on her phone to participate. But I’m able to laugh at myself, so I took it in stride and shrugged it off. One key to guard your happiness- be able to laugh at yourself. Others are going to, so just roll with it.

Then the waitress came and delivered our food. I ordered a burger with bacon, cheese, a fried egg and guacamole. The father approved of my selection….until I had the “audacity” to put ketchup on it. All of a sudden, he raised a big stink about me “murdering” an already great burger with ketchup. That I have “desecrated” the burger. He told the waitress to grab the cook and let him know the horror that I’ve committed. The waitress looked at him, at my burger and then shrugged saying that of course it’s okay for me to put ketchup on it. It’s a burger. With that one voice of support, I smiled and continued eating my burger. There were still a few comments made about how I “desecrated” the burger- seriously-, but I just rolled with it and did not apologize.

This is just a small, minor example but the truth is that people’s judgment can quickly shred your happiness if you let it. I could have gotten defensive or sulked or pouted when faced with someone who judged my actions/requests. It would have been easy to decide to not continue with the conversation. To just sit in the booth with my eyes down and mouth shut. To get lost in second guessing my decision and wondering if I’m the weird one. The thing is not to let yourself go down the downward spiral. I wasn’t hurting anyone. I wasn’t affecting anyone else with my actions. So, why should I let someone’s judgment steal my happiness?

It's His Opinion... So what?

Today, I was scanning through different blogs and stories online- passing the time as I usually do when I have nothing else to do- when a story caught my attention. In the heading was Disney World.

Let me first admit that I'm obsessed with Disney World. Since the age of 2, I've become caught up in the theme park's magic. The nostalgia of an innocent land filled with child-like wonder could be one of the reasons this place holds a deep place in my heart. Another could be the layers of memories I have with family and friends throughout my lifetime as I've visited the many parks in this life size snow-globe (minus the snow of course). Whatever the reasons- which we will not get into right now- I am obsessed with Disney World.

Well, my obsession and the joy I experience with just the mere thought of this place was threatened by a stranger's opinion. Someone decided to write and publish an article/blog about why they would never ever take their children to Disney World. I will not go into details of their reasoning. It is not important. What is the point, though, is that this person's thoughts and criticism upset me so much I was arguing with words glowing from a computer monitor. I was three quarters of the way through before I began questioning why I was getting upset. Why was I allowing these words to effect me? Because I did not agree with them? Because I felt like the writer was narrow minded?

The writer decided to write and publish their opinion. Just as I am doing now. Those words should not have the power to steal my happiness. They cannot erase my giddiness of Disney World. They are just words.

It's amazing how someone else can disturb our happiness with just a few words. The person does not even have to be in our presence nowadays. Their words could have been said days, weeks and years ago and still effect us. The question is why? Why do we let others' opinions overshadow our happiness?

While reading that article, it was like a slow rise of agitation and frustration bubbled up inside me. It blanketed my happiness. I had to calm myself down. I had to remind myself that this is someone else's opinion and he has the right to it. Just as I have the right to disagree and move on.

Moral of the story: Just because someone has the right to their opinion, do not give them the right to disrupt our happiness. Brush it off and keep moving forward.

Guard Your Happiness

At my former workplace, my boss used to always tell us to "Guard Your Focus." There are always distractions, and obstacles and reasons for you to become unfocused. Once your focus is gone, you get off track, you don't end up finishing your workload and you do not achieve your full potential. So, it was imperative- at least there- to Guard Your Focus.

However, in a world where we are constantly being told what is wrong with us, how someone else is doing better and we are being bogged down with stress and everything- there is something more important that we need to guard. We need to guard our own happiness.

Now I'm not saying that you're going be happy every second of the day- but wouldn't it be nice to look at your life and be happy. To know there are several moments in your life- big and small- that brings a smile to your face. Does that not enrich our lives? Being happy?

Now that kind of  happiness is within reach- for only $99.99 you can be happy with just...

Sorry, I have no special serum to sell. No crystal ball to tell you you future. No gadgets, gizmos or a bag full of money. Not even an anecdote. Just a hope that as I learn to guard my happiness, maybe I can touch someone else too.